For Your Happiness
by Frozen Midnight
Summary: This story takes place after the events of episode five of the SuperS arc. After nearly dying to save Mamoru from the Remless, Puko, Usagi begins to rethink some aspects of their relationship. Will Mamoru be able to prove she's wrong or will the future be changed forever? A/N: This fic is based in the Anime-verse but may include Manga-verse aspects as well.
1. Chapter 1

**For Your Happiness**

**Chapter 1**

Fifteen-year-old Tsukino Usagi stared thoughtfully out her bedroom window. Everyone in the house had fallen asleep hours ago, including Chibiusa and Usagi's cat guardian, Luna. Usagi, herself however, could not find the will to even think about sleeping. There was just too much running through her head, especially after today's events. Usagi sighed, it had started out as such a normal day and she had been hoping against hope that it would stay like that. Unfortunately, the powers that be had either not heard her wish for normalcy or had chosen to ignore it.

She had been in a toy store trying to figure out which stuffed animal she had wanted to purchase with what was left of her allowance. She had thought she had made immense progress, having narrowed her choice down from an entire basket filled with various animals down to only two. It was the decision between these two plushies that had occupied her when Chibiusa had entered the store in a panic. The younger girl had quickly voiced her concerns about one of Usagi's boyfriend, Mamoru's classmates. Usagi had been introduced to Mamo-chan's classmate Saori just the day before and, unbeknownst to Chibiusa, had also taken note of the older girl's attraction to Mamoru. However, she had been comforted by the fact that Mamoru had not seemed the least bit interested in Saori.

Usagi had quickly brushed off Chibiusa's concern and went back to her plushie dilemma. Unfortunately, Chibiusa's fear for her own continued existence drove the younger girl to pull the older girl out of the store and drag her to Mamoru and Saori's location. Upon their arrival, both girls had been shocked to see one of the Amazon Trio, the current enemy of the Sailor Senshi, attacking Saori while Mamoru was pinned to a set of bleachers by at least twenty throwing knives that had been embedded in the outer edges of his clothing.

Seeing Mamoru in danger, both Usagi and Chibiusa had wasted no time in transforming into their Sailor Senshi alter-egos, Sailor Moon and Sailor Chibi-Moon, respectively. They quickly jumped into battle against the Remless, Puko. The giant blue and red balloon woman had initially attempted to suffocate Chibi-Moon but had decided the small girl was not a good enough target. Throwing off Sailor Moon who had been attempting to rescue Chibi-Moon, the Remless had turned its attention toward the prone form of Saori who was lying nearby still recovering from her recent attack. Mamoru had shouted, in an attempt to warn his classmate only to succeed in drawing the Puko's attention towards himself. As the balloon girl raced downward towards him, Sailor Moon wasted no time in throwing herself between her enemy and the man she loved. The blonde senshi would have suffocated to death had Mamoru not managed to escape the knives holding him down and proceed to use one to pop the balloon holding her.

Once free and able to breathe again, Sailor Moon and Sailor Chibi-Moon wasted no time in destroying Puko and rushing to help Mamoru free himself completely. Saori was also checked on and found to be a bit shaken up but otherwise unharmed. Mamoru had volunteered to walk her home, but Saori had politely declined and left the trio behind. Usagi had spent the walk home with Chibiusa and Mamoru in her usual manner, arguing with Chibiusa and engaging her in a tug-of-war with Mamoru as the rope the latter seeming extremely grateful when he was finally able to detach his female hangers-on and deposit them at the front door of their house.

After this point, the day had returned to normal again. The two girls had dinner with their family and had reported the day's not-so-normal events to Luna. After working on homework and playing a few video games, Chibiusa had finally said goodnight and gone to bed. Luna also fell asleep not long afterward, leaving Usagi able to finally drop the act she had been keeping up since yesterday.

The normally bouncy teenager hated feeling this way. She hated having to pretend that nothing bothered her and that, even if something did, she would get over it in a few seconds. Most of the time, she did get over things relatively quickly. Unfortunately, this would not be one of those times. These thoughts that now kept her awake had been keeping her awake for many nights throughout the last few months. Mulling a thought over for so long will inevitably lead to an idea on how to eliminate that thought and Usagi's case was no exception.

Finally deciding to take action, Usagi quickly and silently got dressed. She quickly grabbed her transformation brooch off the bedside table and proceeded to sneak out of her house and onto the deserted streets of Tokyo's Juuban district. It took her several minutes of walking to eventually find herself standing before a large apartment complex. Since it was well after midnight, the front doors of the building had been locked but tenants could still gain access by punching a specific code into a keypad near one of the doors. Usagi had learned this code by heart long ago and quickly punched it in. The door made and electronic buzzing sound as the lock disengaged and the teenager did not hesitate to pull the door open and enter the building.

The blonde girl was not at all surprised to see the reception desk in the front lobby standing empty. While it was always occupied during the day, the building manager had deemed it unnecessary to hire a night time receptionist, especially when all the doors would be locked. Usagi made her way to the lobby's elevator and pushed the button for the floor she wanted. She stood in silence as the elevator made its slow ascent to the appropriate floor and immediately exited when the doors opened before her.

Like the streets and the lobby downstairs, the hallway she found herself in was deserted. Her journey so far had been relatively easy to make but as she drew within a few meters of her destination, her feet began to feel like lead and a dark sense of foreboding weighed on her heart. Nevertheless, Usagi was determined to see this through to the end. Her determination gave her the power to move her feet and walk the last few steps to stand before an apartment door. She stared at the unassuming door for several minutes, steeling her resolve, before finally ringing the doorbell.


	2. Chapter 2

**For Your Happiness**

**Chapter 2**

Chiba Mamoru was lying in bed, unable to fall asleep, when his doorbell rang. Glancing at the alarm clock on his bedside table he saw that it was nearly three o'clock in the morning. There were only a handful of people who could gain access to his apartment complex at night and only a short list of reasons why they would need to, none of which were good. Leaping up from the bed, Mamoru raced to the door and yanked it open, half expecting to see one of the Sailor Senshi standing there ready to inform him that something bad had happened.

There was indeed a Sailor Senshi waiting for him when the door opened, but she was not transformed and did not appear to be in any sort of distress. Sighing in relief, Mamoru looked down at his fifteen-year-old girlfriend as she gazed up at him, "Usako, what brings you hear so early in the morning?"

Normally, the blonde teenager would take this opportunity to tackle him in a bone-crushing hug before going on a rant about some insignificant problem that had arisen between now and the last time he'd seen her only hours ago. Instead, Usagi merely continued to gaze up at him. Her eyes seemed to be searching for something but what that might be, he didn't know. He was just about to ask her if something was wrong when she spoke, "I need to talk to you about something. May I come in?"

Confused and a bit taken aback Mamoru nodded and stepped aside so the girl could enter. She moved with trepedition, as if she were afraid of what may lie inside his apartment. She slowly removed her shoes and slid on the pair of slippers he kept by the door, just for her. Wary of her unusal silence, Mamoru followed her into the living room and sat beside her on the couch, "Usako, is something wrong? Did something happen?"

She looked up at him, her eyes once again searching his own for something unknown. Slowly, she shook her head then began to speak, "I've been thinking about something Mamo-chan. I've been thinking about it for a very long time and… and today just brought it back again. Do you know why Saori-san took you to that park today?"

"Of course, she had asked me to help her pick out a present for the guy she's in love with. We had been walking all day and she suggested we stop there to take a break." Mamoru responded, now more confused then ever.

"Did she tell you who this mystery man was?"

"No, though it did seem like she was about to when we were attacked. Why are we talking about this, Usako?"

Usagi graced him with a smile, a very warm but sad smile, "Saori-san is in love with you Mamo-chan." She watched as his eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open, then she continued, "Chibiusa was concerned, she has been ever since we first met Saori-san and Kobayashi-san here yesterday. Today she apparently saw you and Saori-san walking together and had a chat with Kobayashi-san who was following you. Kobayashi-san had asked to meet me because he was hoping seeing that you had a girlfriend would convince Saori-san to give up. Obviously, you hadn't noticed her feelings."

Mamoru shook his head slowly, "I had no clue."

"Chibiusa thought I hadn't noticed Saori-san's feelings and was angry with me for not doing something about it. She found me today in a store and dragged me off to tear you out of Saori-san's clutches. Chibiusa's very existence hinges on our relationship Mamoru and she knows it. She was afraid for herself today and her fear caused her to say some things that got me thinking.

"Before Sailor Moon existed, Tsukino Usagi met Chiba Mamoru completely on accident. Usagi was frequently on the receiving end of Mamoru's scathing remarks about her appearance, her intelligence, and her general lack of grace and poise. Usagi, not being one to stand around and let herself be insulted, rose to the occasion and fired back insults of her own. These weren't very good and lacked any real malice. Mamoru assumed that this was the result of Usagi's lack of intelligence but, in reality, Usagi held herself back because she didn't want to hurt the feelings of the person she loved.

"I, Tsukino Usagi, have loved you, Chiba Mamoru, since the day I hit you on the head with my test paper. I know that I'm not the smartest person in the world and I'm a huge klutz who can't do anything right and I cry and whine too much. I know that Chibiusa doubts that I'm really going to be her mother one day. Neo Queen Serenity is smart and beautiful and graceful, all the things Chibiusa is unable to see in me. She can't see them, because they aren't there because I'm not Serenity yet.

"Mamoru, you're smart and sophisticated and handsome. You and I both know you can have your pick of any woman you want, even one as smart and lovely as Saori-san." Mamoru opened his mouth to retaliate, but Usagi motioned for him to stay silent as she continued, "I know what you're going to say. You're going to reassure me that you love me and only me and that you don't want anyone else. I don't doubt that you care about me and love me, what I doubt is whether these are your feelings or Prince Endymion's. When you have no memory of being Prince Endymion, you don't seem particularly fond of me. Yet, once your memories return, you're nice to me again.

"I have been thinking about this ever since you were first brainwashed by Queen Beryl and, after finding out about Chibiusa's real identity, I've given it more thought. Mamo-chan, Usagi loves you and always has. I followed you the day you faced Zoisite because I wanted to make sure you were alright. I transformed in front of you in the elevator when he tried to kill us because revealing my identity seemed like a very small price to pay to save your life. Finally, I cried when you fell that day not because Tuxedo Kamen had been hurt but because Chiba Mamoru had been. Of all the people in this world that I cannot stand to lose, yours as Chiba Mamoru is the most important to me.

"Unfortunately, I have no idea how Chiba Mamoru really feels about me. I don't know whether it is you or Endymion that wishes to be with me. That being said, I have found a way to preserve Chibiusa's existence without us being together so, I am giving you a choice. If Chiba Mamoru does not love Tsukino Usagi and wants to move on, if you want to be with someone as wonderful as you deserve, then I will grant it. I will use the Ginzuisho to separate Endymion's soul from your own and give you a normal life. I would do this for all the scouts and even for myself if I could, but our fates, unlike Endymion's, are bound to the protection of this solar system.

"I don't want your decision right now. I will give you two days to figure out what you want, Mamo-chan. Find out how you really feel about Usagi and then come find me at the arcade, at noon, two days from today." Her long speech finally over, Usagi stood from the couch and made her way to the door.

Mamoru was too stunned to do anything but stand up himself and watch her as she slid out of the slippers staring at the pair for a minute or two before slipping on her shoes. He wanted to say something, to call out to her and tell her that her fears were unfounded… but he couldn't. He knew she wanted his feelings as Mamoru, not as Prince Endymion, and he understood why. Even he had spent time wondering if Usagi loved him for who he was now or merely because of who he had been in another lifetime. Unfortunately, numerous bouts of brainwashing had erased all recollection of what his feelings had been for the clumsy, cheerful, ditzy blonde that he had known before Sailor Moon had appeared.

She had just laid all of his doubts and fears to rest in a single night and, as he watched her place her hand on the doorknob, his resolve to find out how he had felt back then solidified into unwavering determination. He would find out and then find proof so that she would never need to feel this way again. Usagi deserved someone who loved her as an individual, not because she had been, and one day would be again, someone else. If Mamoru discovered that he had not loved her, that he had truly meant all the horrible things he had said to her back then, then he would allow her to let him go so that he could let her go too.

Usagi stopped with her hand resting on the door of Mamoru's apartment, unable to bring herself to open the door. She was plagued by the thought that this could be the last time she ever entered this apartment or left it, the last time she ever wore the slippers with the rabbit faces that he had bought especially for her. Those thoughts, however, were quickly drowned out by a bigger and much sadder one, the thought that this may be the last time she would ever get to hear him call her "Usako." Without giving herself the opportunity to rethink her actions, she turned from the door and ran to him, her arms encircling his waist as tightly as she could. The sudden attack had startled Mamoru from his stupor and he immediately moved to return Usagi's embrace. He was vaguely aware of Usagi's muffled voice speaking from where her face was buried in his chest, "What was that?"

Usagi looked up at him with tear and sorrow-filled eyes but her voice was clear when she spoke, "Call me 'Usako,' just one more time before I leave."

That small and simple request nearly broke his heart and he tightened his hold, buring his face in the golden hair on top of her head, "Usako, my Usako… everything will be okay, you'll see."

She wanted to kiss him, she wanted to kiss him so badly it hurt, but she dare not. His kiss had always had a powerful effect on her and she knew, if she gave in and kissed him goodbye, she'd never be able to walk out the door and leave him to mull over his decision. With a heavy and reluctant heart, the young blonde lowered her arms and turned her back on Mamoru. Reaching the door, she managed to push the handle down and open the door before turning around and, having mustered all of her courage, flashed the man she loved a brilliant happy smile just as she would have on any other day, "Ja ne, Mamo-chan." Then she was gone and Mamoru was left standing alone and dejected in the middle of his own living room.


	3. Chapter 3

**For Your Happiness**

**Chapter 3**

There was a sense of finality in the way the door to Chiba Mamoru's apartment clicked shut. It was as if the door may never open again and this apartment would become not a home, but a prison. Usagi had left an incredibly heavy burden on Mamoru's shoulders when she had walked out of the apartment mere moments ago. The weight of that burden, while intangible, managed to drop the stunned young man to his knees in the middle of his own living room floor. He had promised her he would figure out if he, Chiba Mamoru, had ever loved here for just being Tsukino Usagi or if he could only love her as the reincarnation of Prince Endymion's soul mate, Moon Princess Serenity.

The biggest problem with keeping this promise was the mere fact that Mamoru could not remember anything about their relationship prior to Ail and En showing up with their Doom Tree and even those memories were a bit hazy until the final battle. He would just have to ask someone who had known him before those attacks. The other Sailor Senshi probably wouldn't be able to help as they would have spent most of their time with Usagi. He also got the feeling that Usagi had not informed the other senshi about her doubts or her plan for eliminating finding the truth. If Usagi was not going to inform the senshi on her own, Mamoru certainly wasn't going to get them involved either.

In the end, Mamoru was only able to think of one person who may be able to assist him. Slowly and mechanically, Mamoru dragged himself back up and into his bedroom to get dressed. It was almost four o'clock in the morning but he had to hope that this situation would be viewed as enough of an emergency to excuse the in-person wake-up call he was about to make.

Once fully dressed, Mamoru quickly made his way out of the apartment and down the block to the Crown Fruit Parlor. Ignoring the front doors, which he knew would be locked, he made his way around the back of the building where a set of wooden stairs lead to the door of the apartment above the popular hang-out. Once on the landing, Mamoru knocked on the apartment door. When he received no response, he knocked again.

Finally, after knocking half a dozen times, the door finally opened to reveal Furuhata Motoki's drowsy face, partially hidden behind a mess of sandy blonde hair. It took almost a minute for the arcade clerk's sleep hazed eyes to finally focus on the early morning visitor standing before them, but eventually recognition dawned, "Mamoru, I really hope you have a good reason for waking me up two hours before I normally get up?"

"I do, it involves Usagi." Mamoru responded knowing full well that Motoki thought of the bubbly blonde teen as a second younger sister and would happily suffer any amount of inconvenience to help her.

Sure enough, Motoki seemed much more alert after the uttering of Usagi's name and quickly opened the door wider to beckon Mamoru inside. The latter had barely crossed the threshold when the questions began, "What's wrong with Usagi? Have you dumped her again? I am not giving you anymore advice on how to get women to hate you so you had better go right back to her and make up."

"I wish it were that simple, Toki." Mamoru responded in a voice that sounded hollow even to his own ears.

"Oh? So you didn't dump her again?" Motoki responded in a suspicious tone.

"No, though our relationship is in jeopardy and you are probably the only one that can help me save it."

"Alright, what did you do?"

"What makes you think _I _did something?" Mamoru questioned vehemently.

"Because, Usagi-chan does everything she can to avoid causing you trouble or to keep you from being disappointed in her. You, on the other hand, usually say or do something that Usagi misinterprets because you never state your feelings clearly." Motoki responded bluntly.

Mamoru eyed him with annoyance, "I'm glad you have such a positive opinion of me. For your information though, I didn't do anything, at least not recently. The problem is with our alter-egos. You do remember the hidden Sailor Senshi headquarters that is under the Crown, don't you?"

Motoki laughed, "Of course I remember, I'm not likely to forget a thing like having the base of operations for Japan's premier super-heroes right under my family's business, am I? So, did Sailor Moon have a tiff with Tuxedo Kamen and Usagi's taking it out on you or something?"

"No. I should probably start at the beginning. The other day Kobayashi asked me to introduce him and Saori to my girlfriend. Apparently Saori had feelings for me and Kobayashi wanted to convince her to give up in light of my already being involved with someone. Unfortunately…"

"Unfortunately, Usagi-chan wasn't the mature and sophisticated woman that Kobayashi had been expecting and Saori-san wasn't dissuaded at all?" Motoki questioned.

"Bingo. Kobayashi actually had made a comment about Usagi being young and having countless chances to find love to which Usagi responded…"

"…that she already had you." Motoki finished.

"They laughed at her, as if it was a joke. I had pushed the event aside because I don't expect others to understand my relationship with Usagi and I don't really care whether they understand it or not. Apparently though, Chibiusa felt threatened by Saori's feelings and mentioned all the reasons she would be more fitting for me than Usagi to Usagi herself.

"Usagi shrugged it aside to calm Chibiusa but tonight she informed me that she had already acknowledged the same things as Chibiusa quite a while ago. Usagi is questioning whether I love her, Tsukino Usagi as me, as Chiba Mamoru or whether my feelings for her are based on Prince Endymion's insistence on being with Princess Serenity's reincarnation. Unfortunately, after the fight with Beryl, all my memories prior to a few months ago are hazy at best. I can't remember how I felt about Usagi prior to discovering her past incarnation and my own memories of my own incarnation."

"Which is why you came to me, because I knew you both before either of you became superheroes." Motoki stated simply.

"Exactly, and you're my only hope Toki. I can't ask the other Senshi because I don't think Usagi has mentioned any of this to them and I can't go to anyone else either because no one outside of the senshi except you knows enough to fully understand the situation."

"Well, I can certainly understand Usagi's perspective, you _were_ quite cruel to her before you found out she was Sailor Moon and Princess Serenity. Unfortunately, I don't really know if I can be of any help. You are always too guarded with your feelings so it is possible that you were cruel to Usagi in an attempt to keep her at a distance and prevent yourself from falling for her. Then again, you could be quite cold to people in general if you were annoyed enough. It is equally possible that you disliked Usagi and were cruel to her in an attempt to get her to leave you alone.

"You're biggest problem Mamoru, is that you don't allow yourself to confide in anyone. You internalize everything so no one knows what you're thinking but yourself. You take for granted the fact that Usagi-chan seems to have an uncanny ability to know what you're thinking even when you refuse to tell her but, obviously, she wasn't capable of reading you so well back then. I'm sorry Mamoru, but you never told me how you felt about Usagi-chan though I did ask on a couple of occasions."

Mamoru sighed in dejection, "Well, maybe I can figure out what I was thinking if I knew how I was acting around her. What exactly did I do or say to her?"

"Hmm… you insulted her after seeing the grade she got on that test she threw at your head. After that, you made scathing remarks about her clumsiness, her intelligence, and her tendency to cry over small things. When I asked why you always picked on her, your only response was that, when you saw her, insults just spewed out of your mouth before you could stop them. You use to call her 'Odango Atama' all of the time too, as if you couldn't remember her name."

Mamoru winced as Motoki recounted his past crimes against Tsukino Usagi, "I did all of that to her and she still fell for me? What on earth was she thinking? Now I'm beginning to wonder if she isn't getting her feelings and Serenity's feelings mixed up."

"She's not. Tsukino Usagi was definitely in love with Chiba Mamoru before she found out about Tuxedo Kamen and Prince Endymion." Motoki responded with a confident tone.

"How can you be so sure?" Mamoru responded, his voice as skeptical as Motoki's had been confident.

"That's easy. I saw how she reacted to you and Rei-chan."

"Me and Rei? What happened between us?" All skepticism had left Mamoru's voice to be replaced by shock and curiosity.

"Man, you really don't remember anything, do you? You and Rei dated for a while. Usagi-chan was so jealous she even followed the two of you while you were on a date. She was so desperate to find out how you felt about Rei that she even asked Umino-kun out on a date so she could rent a boat with him and follow you out onto the lake."

"Usagi went on a date with Umino-kun, the stalker with the glasses? She did that just because she was jealous of Rei being on a date with me?"

"Yup, she did. Now, do you really think Usagi would have done such a thing if she didn't love you?"

Motoki's answer was Mamoru's silence. Mamoru had to admit, Motoki had a point. He distinctly remembered Usagi stating numerous times how thrilled she was the Umino-kun had finally asked Naru-chan out because it meant he would stop pursuing her affections. She thought Umino was a nice enough guy but far too overzealous for her to ever consider dating him unless it was life or death.

While Mamoru sat at Motoki's kitchen table mulling over the information he had just been given, he was unaware that the other male was staring at him in contemplation as well. Motoki honestly felt bad for Mamoru, the poor guy seemed to have more problems with memory than was fair. First he loses his parents and any memory he ever had of them in a car accident, and then loses his memories again when he was kidnapped by an evil alien queen hell-bent on world domination. However, the recollection of Mamoru's childhood car accident brought another thought to mind, "Mamoru, what is Usagi going to do if you tell her Mamoru never loved her?"

The question seemed to snap Mamoru out of his thoughts, "She said she would separate my soul from Endymion's and allow me to move on."

"But if it were that easy, why wouldn't she just separate all the Senshi from their alter-egos?"

"Usagi said that it wasn't possible for them because their destiny is tied to the protection of the solar system. Why do you ask?"

"You told me once that Queen Serenity sent all of your souls here to be reincarnated, right?"

"Yeah, that's what she told the senshi. Where are you going with this Motoki?

"Were you with the scouts when she told them this?" Motoki asked. He desperately hoped that the theory he had just come up with was wrong but if not, Mamoru would have an even tougher choice to make than he thought.

"No, I believe I was already in Beryl's clutches by that time. What does this have to do with my problem?"

"Mamoru, I don't think Queen Serenity realized that Prince Endymion had been reincarnated as well. I remember Ami-chan stating once that only citizens of the Silver Millennium could be influenced by the Ginzuisho but Endymion was the Prince of Earth. You told me that Earth refused to join the Silver Millennium which means that Queen Serenity could not have reincarnated him."

"Well, maybe Ami-chan was wrong for once because I am most certainly his reincarnation. I've transformed into him enough times to be sure about that much."

"You told me Endymion had healing power's right? Well, what if he had enough power to reincarnate himself?"

"What? That's impossible, I would know if I had that much power." Mamoru was definitely feeling a bit lost now.

"Alright, maybe Endymion didn't reincarnate himself exactly but maybe he took over the body of someone whose soul was already leaving. Maybe… maybe the reason you can't remember your parents isn't because you had amnesia but because Endymion took over your body. You said that the doctors thought it was a miracle you survived the crash with such a severe head injury yet you had no other negative effects but your amnesia. With an injury as bad as you said it was, you should have at least been in a coma for a few days yet you said that the minute the anesthesia from your surgery wore off you were wide awake."

Mamoru stared at his best friend in shock before chuckling, "Motoki, you've lost it." The laughter however could not dislodge the seed of doubt that had planted itself in Mamoru's mind.

"Okay, I know it sounds farfetched but, let me ask you this… would you have ever met Usagi and the Sailor Senshi if you hadn't lost your memory in that car crash? You're sole purpose for hunting down the Ginzuisho was to recover your memory of who you were which the princess in your dreams informed you could only be done with the crystal. But you haven't recovered any memories of Chiba Mamoru even though the crystal's been found. The only memories you've ever been able to recover have been those of…"

"Prince Endymion." Mamoru finished a chill running down his spine as he said the name. "So you think that my memories of my parents disappeared because Endymion didn't want me to remember?"

"My guess is that, before he took over a body, he probably kept a close eye on Serenity's reincarnation. Didn't you meet Usagi in the hospital when you first woke up? Seems like an awfully big coincidence to me. Endymion would have known that the crystal's power would seal the Senshi's memories and that the only sure way for you to meet Serenity would have been by finding her yourself."

"They never figured out what caused my parent's car to veer off the road that night. Do you think…?"

"That Endymion caused the accident? I don't know, but it might be a possibility." Motoki responded sadly.

"If you're right, and Endymion erased my memories of being Chiba Mamoru, then that would mean that if my soul and his are separated I may get my memories of my parents back."

"I think so but you would also lose the ability to help the Sailor Senshi fight and you would be handing Usagi-chan over to whomever Endymion is reincarnated as next."

"You don't think…"

"That Usagi-chan knows about this? Of course not, if Usagi knew how to give your memories back to you, I'm sure she would have done it before now." Motoki responded confidently.

"You do realize that you just made this whole situation a lot more difficult than it was when I walked in here."

"Yeah and I'm sorry but I thought you had to know. Also, the thought about your car accident gave me another idea one that may help you solve the mystery of your feelings for Usagi-chan."

"Which is?"

"Didn't the doctors tell you to keep a journal after your accident?"

"Yes, I was supposed to write in a journal every day in case I remembered something."

"Have you been writing in one ever since?"

"You know I have, you gave me a new one for my birthday last… Motoki, you're a genius!" Mamoru yelled as he leapt from the chair he'd been seated in to hug his best friend.

Motoki just laughed and pushed the much more cheerful Mamoru towards the door, "Go on then, you have some reading to do."

Mamoru needed no further urging as he yanked open Motoki's apartment door and raced back towards his apartment.


	4. Chapter 4

**For Your Happiness**

**Chapter 4**

Usagi made her way back home slowly and with a heavy heart. She could not stop her doubts about Mamoru's feelings from growing with every step she took. Ever since she had discovered that she was the reincarnation of Princess Serenity and acquired the Princess' memories there had been several times when she had wished to be more like her past incarnation. How wonderful would it be if she could finally make her family and friends proud? If only she had the grace and poise and intelligence that Serenity had possessed in such abundance.

Tsukino Usagi had come a very long way since the day she saved a talking cat from the torment of a gang of young boys. She doubted whether anyone else had any idea exactly how far she had come from those days. Oh, she knew the scouts and Luna were aware that she was much less of a crybaby and a bit less clumsy than she had once been but she wondered what they would do if they knew how much she had learned about the Ginzuisho and her inevitable fate.

Come to think of it, Usagi herself probably never would have realized what fate had in store for her if it had not been for the attack of Doom Phantom and the Black Moon family. There had been several things that had worried Usagi after the Black Moon ordeal had ended. Why had Chibiusa not known immediately that Sailor Moon and Neo-Queen Serenity were one and the same? Why had King Endymion sent those dreams to separate Usagi and Mamoru? Why hadn't Usagi been able to recognize the Neo-Queen as being her future self?

These questions had spun around in Usagi's brain for weeks before they began to make sense. It had taken a review of Princess Serenity's memories of the Silver Millennium for the truth to finally take shape. Back then, Sailor Venus had been the leader of the Sailor Senshi and Princess Serenity did not fight. Yet her reincarnation is somehow able to transform into a Sailor Senshi when no Senshi of the moon previously existed? Even Princess Serenity had asked her mother about their being a Sailor Senshi of the moon and had been told that no such warrior could exist. The Ginzuisho was too powerful to be used to transform a person into a Senshi; the power would overwhelm the bearer. That was why Luna had given her the Moon Prism brooch when they first met; it had been created so there could be a Senshi of the moon.

However, when the Ginzuisho was inevitably recovered and the Negaverse forces destroyed, Usagi received a new brooch which utilized the power of the Ginzuisho. Somehow, Tsukino Usagi was able to bear the Ginzuisho as a weapon in battle, not just as a last means of defense. Usagi had achieved what no other bearer of the Ginzuisho had ever achieved by becoming Sailor Moon while using the crystal. This left her with the question of why she could become Sailor Moon while Neo-Queen Serenity could not. There was only one possibility, the thought of which had shaken Usagi to her core; Neo-Queen Serenity was not Tsukino Usagi. Usagi had been unable to see herself in the Neo-Queen because there was no trace of herself to see.

This also explained why King Endymion had sent Mamoru those nightmares in the hopes of separating them. He had lied when he had claimed it to be a test of their affection for one another. In truth he had not wanted Mamoru to become attached to Tsukino Usagi because one day she would disappear forever. The truth had hit home again when Chibiusa had pointed out all the differences between Usagi and her mother, Neo-Queen Serenity. People could change over time, Usagi knew this, but there was no way she would have changed that much. She would never willingly give up the ability to become Sailor Moon just so she could sit safely in a palace while her friends fought to protect her.

One day, there would be a battle over control of the crystal and Tsukino Usagi would lose to the Moon Princess. When that happened, Usagi's personality and soul would be extinguished and her body would become that of Princess Serenity. Usagi had accepted this fate and refused to mention it to any of the scouts or to Luna. In fact, she had even hidden the truth from Mamoru. She had decided, entirely on her own, that she would remain as no one but herself for as long as she could. She would not live as Serenity would have and she would not remain with Mamoru if he was with her only because of Serenity. Instead, she would let Mamoru live a normal, happy life of his own choosing and force Endymion to find someone else.

After all, Endymion did not really want to be anywhere near Usagi at all and it was unfair to force Mamoru into her presence merely to wait for the emergence of the Princess. The Prince was probably disappointed that Usagi was so different from Serenity while all of the other reincarnated Senshi were exactly like their past selves. Meanwhile, Serenity and Usagi were a dissimilar as night and day. Where Serenity was shy, quite, and wary of others Usagi managed to be outgoing, loud, and trusting of everyone. Serenity would spend hours and days planning how to trick and outsmart her enemies while Usagi would find ways to embrace them and make them her friends.

Somehow though, while everyone else hoped that Usagi would be more and more like Serenity, Usagi herself had noticed something that made her believe it would be better if Serenity disappeared. Serenity, unlike Usagi, had a history of failing when success mattered most. When the forces of Earth attacked the Silver Millennium, Serenity had failed to do anything but let her friends and loved ones fight for her. Usagi had never willingly allowed her friends to die for her and, when she was unable to stop them from sacrificing themselves, she vowed to bring them back which she did.

When Crystal Tokyo was attacked by the Black Moon family, Neo-Queen Serenity failed to protect her kingdom. She separated from the Ginzuisho and left it virtually unprotected. It was not Princess Serenity that fought to save Mamoru from Zoicite or who fought to save Tomoe Hotaru from Pharaoh 90. In fact, even against Beryl, Ail and En, and the Black Moon it had been Usagi who had called forth the power of the Princess to save the people, the Princess had not volunteered to help save them.

It was clear that Princess Serenity wanted to avoid fighting at all costs, even when the battle was unavoidable. In a way, Usagi could understand the Princess' point of view. After all, she was constantly protected by bodyguards; she had never had to fight her own battles. Usagi, on the other hand, had been given no choice but to fight. She had been told that her world was in danger, that those she loved were being threatened and that everything would fall to ruin if she did not stand and fight. What else could she do but stand and protect them?

If Mamoru was in love with Usagi, she would do everything she could to maintain who she was into the dawn of Crystal Tokyo. If he was willing to stand by her, as the person she was now, then she would know that she was just as worthy of being loved as Princess Serenity. If he could not love her as herself, then she would not fight Princess Serenity for the crystal when the time comes, she would merely allow herself to be extinguished and hope the Princess could handle the burden of protecting the world Sailor Moon had loved so much. This would ensure that Chibiusa would be born, not matter what. If she was truly the daughter of Endymion and Serenity then her existence would not hinge on the relationship of Usagi and Mamoru continuing.

Sighing and with the weight of the world on her shoulders, Usagi took the last few steps toward her home. Quietly slipping through the front door and slipping off her shoes, she made her way silently up to her room. Being careful not to wake the sleeping cat at the foot of her bed, Usagi slipped carefully under her blankets and fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep.


End file.
